


Coup de théâtre!

by Poyo_Chan64



Series: And there is a freaking goose [2]
Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types, Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Goose at the Alhambra, Horrible Goose (Untitled Goose Game), Quote: Honk (Untitled Goose Game), Roth is going to have a very bad day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28051485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poyo_Chan64/pseuds/Poyo_Chan64
Summary: It was a normal day a the Alhambra Music Hall...until a goose came in to ruin the day.
Series: And there is a freaking goose [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1930597
Kudos: 7





	Coup de théâtre!

It was a normal day at the Alhambra Music Hall. Maxwell Roth was sitting at his desk, working on paperwork. It may not have seemed like it, but Roth was quite a busy man - when he wasn't supervising rehearsal or set-up, he was in his office either paying bills, signing documents, writing new plays, answering letters, or reading the newest review about his plays in the journal.

It was a pretty busy life, but in his eyes, it was more than worth it. For him, entertainment was everything. He loved to entertain as much as he loved to be entertained, so why not share this pleasure with the rest of the world? After all, without entertainment, life would be monotonous, without any flavor! As Maxwell scrawled his signature on a very important letter, a scream startled him and made him scratch the letter with ink.

“Nellie?” asked Roth, recognizing the voice of his star actress. “What could-“ His eyes laid upon the now ruined letter. “Uuurg…and I had just finished it…” he groaned, annoyed.

With a sigh, he crumpled it into a ball and tossed it in the fireplace before heading toward the cause of this ruckus. Even if he was pissed off about having to start over a letter he spent more than two hours writing, if Nellie was in trouble, he must intervene. The wellbeing of his employees was more important than a piece of paper. As he neared the backstage area, he could hear the panicked cries of his actress and…honking?

“What is going on here!?!” he demanded, barging in.

What he saw left him puzzled. Of all the things he could have imagined, seeing his actress being harassed by a goose wasn’t one of them. The pristine white bird was firmly holding the strings of Nellie’s corset in its beak and was pulling down on them to lower the garment. The poor woman was desperately trying to keep her clothing in place while two of her colleagues were cowering in a corner, looking on completely terrified.

“Stop it! I’m begging you please, stop it!” cried Nellie.

**Honk, Honk, Honk**

****

“HEY! Leave the lady alone!” Roth intervened, heading toward them. He kicked at the goose, forcing the bird to let go of the strings so it wouldn't get hit. In response, it honked in protest, but the theatre's owner had none of it. He kept the bird at bay using his foot until it gave up.

“Is everyone alright?” he asked once the danger was gone. “Nellie, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m okay,” Nellie replied, readjusting her corset. “Thank you very much, sir.” The others simply nodded.

“You are more than welcome, my dear.” He smiled. “I’ll take care of the rest. You three can take a break.”

The ladies politely bowed and headed towards their cabin.

“As for you, my feathered friend,” Maxwell said while turning around to face the goose, “I’m not sure exactly how you managed to get in, but I will ask that you lea-“ It was gone. “Huh!?! Where did it go???”

He looked around and saw it near a costume rack, tearing the costumes down from their hangers one by one and throwing them on the floor.

“Hey, stop that!” he yelled, rushing toward it. He pushed it away once more despite its incessant honking and sighed before crouching down and cleaning up the mess it created. The goose tried to snatch up a costume, but Roth slapped its head with the back of his hand, making it drop the piece of clothing.

“No! You don’t touch that!” he scolded before resuming his task.

The bird watched him for a couple minutes, waiting for Roth to turn his back before digging into the pile of costumes and stealing a bowtie. It waddled away with its prize, but unfortunately for it, Roth noticed from the corner of his eye.

“OI! Come back here with that bowtie!” he shouted.

He ran after the goose. He chased it around the theatre, trying his best to keep the bird in his line of sight. Which wasn’t easy as it zigzagged through crates, furniture, decors, employees (who watched the scene quite puzzled) and props. However, he didn’t plan on giving up anytime soon. He knew the Alhambra like the back of his hand, so it was only a matter of time before he would catch it.

Suddenly, the bird branched off toward a castle setting that was going under some maintenance and slipped inside a breach of one of the panels that made the castle. Roth rushed in and attempted to grab it before it managed to get away but failed miserably and smacked his face against the panel.

“Argh! Fucking stupid ass décor-”

**_SPLASH_ **

****

And then he was completely soaked in water. Above him was an opening serving as one of the castle windows, and leaning against the edge was a bucket once filled with water. The impact of his body against the setting caused the bucket to sway and spill its contents, drenching the leader of the Blighters from head to toe.

“Boss!”

Roth turned around and saw some of his employees running towards him, having witnessed the incident.

“Boss, is everything alright?” one of them asked, concerned.

“What do you think…?” He angrily muttered. He made a mental note that if he ever crossed paths with that godforsaken bird again, he would make sure that it ended up as burned as Jacob’s cooking.

“I beg your pardon, sir?”

“No, nothing…” he sighed. Looking around, he noticed that the goose was gone. Stupid bird. That thing was way too smart for its own good. But for the moment, he was soaked, cold, his forehead hurt, and his pride was damaged.

“I need a bath…” he muttered before addressing his employees. “I will be in my private bathroom. Do not bother me unless it is a matter of upmost importance, is that clear?”

“Yes, sir!”

“Good, now someone clean up this mess,” he ordered before turning away to leave. “Oh, and if someone could bring me a fresh set of clothes, it would be much appreciated.”

He left the backstage and headed toward his private quarters. He went inside his bathroom, closing the door behind him and ran a bath. As the bathtub slowly filled, Roth sat on the edge of the tub and looked out the window.

As he watched London go on with its daily routine, his mind went to his dear Jacob. He wondered what the boy was doing right now. Was he going through one of his crazy and perilous missions? Fighting though battles at the fight club? Or maybe was he enjoying a nice pint in one of the pubs nearby. Who knew? The boy was full of surprises, one of the many things Roth loved about him.

Once the bath was full, Maxwell undressed and plunged himself into the water. He exhaled upon feeling the warmth enveloping his body and rested his head at the edge of the tub. Closing his eyes, he cleared his mind and relaxed. 

A few hours later, his time of peace was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Sir?”

“What is it?”

“I’m bringing you fresh clothes.”

“Ah, splendid! Do come in, and put them near the bath.”

The employee entered the bathroom and set down the clothing, then left, closing the door behind him. However, the door was not closed properly, allowing a certain birdie to come in, unbeknownst to Roth.

Discreet, the goose approached the neatly folded pile of clothing lying next to the tub and messed it all up. Then, its eyes laid upon the wet pile of clothes, particularly Roth’s belt and holster. It walked toward it and picked it up. The goose was about to leave the room when it accidentally dropped the belt onto the floor, the leather accessory loudly hitting the ceramic floor, alerting its owner.

“What?! How did you get in here?!”

**Honk**

It grabbed the belt and ran out of the room, to Roth’s upmost shock.

“Why you…WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU STUPID BIRD! I’LL HAVE LEWIS COOK YOU FOR DINNER!!!”

He jumped out of the bathtub and started chasing the goose, not bothering to dress and instead grabbed a towel to wrap around his waist. Maxwell pursued the goose in all corners of the Alhambra in the wildest goose chase history had ever known!

As the oversized duck was running away from Maxwell’s wrath, it noticed a box filled with white rose petals and wasted no time jumping in it to hide. The colors of the petals being as white as its feathers, it offered the perfect camouflage. The leader of the Blighters stopped not far from the box and started looking around for the devilish bird. Realizing he lost it, he gritted his teeth and started looking elsewhere. Then two employees approached the box. “This one is going on the grid,” one said to the other, pointing to the box of petals. “Dave, lower the grid, and I'll put the box on it.”

“Got it, Frank.”

Frank grabbed the box while his colleague lowered the grid hanging above the stage. Once at ground level, Frank put the box on it and signalled to Dave to reel the grid to its former height. A few moments later, the goose peeked out of his hiding spot like a jack-in-the-box.

**Honk**

It hopped out of the box and looked around, only to realize it was meters above the ground. There wasn’t much around either, except for the box it was in and several cords hanging around the grid. Suddenly, an idea passed in its small avian brain. The goose dove back inside the box and took out every item it had stolen and stored in there before infiltrating Maxwell Roth's bathroom: a bowtie, a hairbrush, a letter opener, a pearl necklace, a dagger, a fake apple, a masquerade mask, a candle, a pint glass, and Maxwell’s belt. It picked up a few of the items and threw them away to get to the dagger and started cutting the ropes in its reach.

Meanwhile, Roth was searching for the bird backstage when he heard something fall down onto the floorboards. “Huh? What was that?”

He headed toward the stage and found his belt lying in the middle of it.

“My belt! Thank god I finally found it!” He went over to pick it up. “But how did it get here? Oh well, I suppose it isn’t that important.”

As Roth headed back towards his bathroom, the goose cut another cord, a counterweight went down while the other end of the rope coiled around Roth’s ankle and snatched him up like a fish on a line. Maxwell yelped as he was suddenly hoisted in the air, dropping his towel in surprise.

And that is how Maxwell Roth, leader of the Blighters, London’s criminal mastermind, and King of the underworld, found himself hanging upside down, meters away from the ground and in all his glory. Humiliated and embarrassed, he placed his hands in front of his family jewels to protect what was left of his dignity.

_“Can this day get any worse!?”_ he thought.

**Honk**

Then he saw it, that freaking goose, cozy, sitting on the grid as if it was a comfy nest, and staring at him. It didn’t take him long to put two and two together and realize that _it_ was what put him in this precarious situation.

He glared at it. “I hate you.”

**Honk**


End file.
